Friends say you are "too impulsive"? -- How can adults with ADHD improve communication and build more stable interpersonal relationships
1. Communication difficulties of ADHD patients: impulsiveness, poor listening skills, and emotionality
1.1 Why do people with ADHD appear to be “ impulsive ” in social situations?
One of the core symptoms of ADHD is difficulty in impulse control , which makes patients impatient, easily emotional, and difficult to manage their words when communicating. The main manifestations are:
• Interrupting others : When hearing a topic of interest, one cannot help but interrupt, or even snatch the other person’s opportunity to speak.
• Speaks directly and without embellishment : May say hurtful things unintentionally or express things in a way that seems " too strong. "
• Excessive emotional expression : It is easy to appear overly excited or angry when chatting, making friends feel uncomfortable.
Studies have shown that people with ADHD have lower activity in the prefrontal cortex , which is responsible for inhibiting impulses, planning language, and regulating emotions ( Barkley, 2010 ). This means that even if they are aware of their impulses during communication, they find it difficult to stop in time .
1.2 How does ADHD affect social relationships?
• Friends think you are " too self-centered " : Because they have difficulty listening attentively, people with ADHD tend to focus more on their own opinions and ignore the feelings of others .
• Easy to misunderstand or be misunderstood : The other party may just say it casually, but ADHD patients take it seriously, or over-interpret other people's words, causing emotional fluctuations.
• Social interaction fatigue : ADHD patients need to spend more energy to control impulses and understand the true meaning of other people's expressions, which makes them easily feel tired after long-term social interaction.
If these problems persist for a long time, friends may gradually reduce interactions, avoid communication, or even become distant , causing people with ADHD to lose interpersonal connections without realizing it.
2. How can ADHD patients improve their communication skills?
Although ADHD patients face challenges in social interactions, behavioral training, psychological adjustment, and drug intervention can effectively improve the quality of communication and reduce misunderstandings and conflicts.
2.1 Training listening skills: avoid interrupting others and learn to wait
• " Three-second rule " : Every time you want to interrupt, force yourself to pause for three seconds to make sure the other person has really finished speaking.
• Use the " retelling method " : After the other person finishes speaking, repeat it in your own words first to confirm whether you understand what the other person means correctly.
• Limit your speaking time : Try to keep your speech to 30 seconds each time, and then leave space for the other party to respond.
2.2 Learn to manage emotions: reduce impulsive reactions
• Set an “ emotional pause ” : When you start to get excited, remind yourself to take three deep breaths before continuing the conversation .
• Practice empathy : After each conversation, review your own words and think, “ If I were the other person, how would I feel? ”
• Make your tone less aggressive : Practice using “ I ” sentences to express your feelings, such as “ I’m a little confused ” instead of “ Why do you say that? ”
2.3 Setting social boundaries: reducing over-expression
• Learn to read people’s expressions : Observe the other person’s facial expressions and tone of voice to determine whether the other person is really interested in continuing the conversation.
• Avoid dominating the conversation : If you find yourself talking too much, ask, “ What do you think? ” to give the other person a chance to speak up.
• Control your social rhythm : avoid sending a large number of messages in a short period of time, or frequently becoming the center of conversation at gatherings.
3. Scientific use of medication: How to help ADHD patients communicate more stably?
For people with more severe ADHD symptoms, medication can help improve attention and impulse control, thereby improving social performance .
The role of Zestar
Xestada is a non-stimulant ADHD treatment drug that helps the brain improve concentration, control impulses, and stabilize emotions by regulating norepinephrine ( Michelson et al., 2002 ). Compared with stimulant drugs, Xestada has a more stable effect and is less likely to cause dependence , making it suitable for patients who need long-term management of ADHD . After consulting a professional doctor, use the drug reasonably and return to a comfortable life.
How does Selecta help you with your communication skills?
• Reduce impulse to interrupt : Help patients better suppress impulses during conversations and wait for the right time to speak.
• Improve concentration : Allow patients to better listen to what others are saying instead of being distracted by their own thoughts.
• Improve emotional stability : Reduce anxiety or frustration caused by communication problems and improve the quality of interpersonal interactions.
Precautions for medication
• The drug's efficacy takes 2-4 weeks to stabilize and is not suitable for short-term use ( Kelsey et al., 2004 ).
• There may be mild side effects in the early stages , such as fatigue and loss of appetite, but people will generally adapt to them gradually.
• A doctor is required to assess whether it is suitable for long-term use and adjust the dosage regularly to achieve the best effect.
Studies have shown that adult ADHD patients treated with Xeloda had significantly reduced social impulsive behavior and improved interpersonal relationship satisfaction ( Weisler et al., 2006 ).
4. Understanding ADHD makes communication smoother
The difficulties that ADHD patients face in social situations are not " character defects " that cannot be changed , but can be improved through scientific methods. Through behavioral training, emotional management, and scientific medication , ADHD patients can gradually reduce impulsivity, improve the quality of communication, and establish more stable and harmonious interpersonal relationships with friends. At the same time, the understanding and tolerance of friends and family for ADHD is also an important support to help them grow. If you encounter similar challenges in social situations, you might as well try these methods to make yourself more confident and calm in communication.
