Why are children easily misunderstood in school? ——Social barriers and coping strategies for children with ADHD
1. Social difficulties faced by children with ADHD in school
1.1 Why are children with ADHD often misunderstood?
Everyday school activities for children with ADHD may include:
• Frequently interrupting the teacher or classmates, interjecting or expressing one's own ideas loudly in class;
• They have difficulty following social rules, such as taking turns, waiting, and cooperating , which can easily lead to dissatisfaction among classmates;
• Being too active and having difficulty sitting quietly in their seats , causing chaos in class;
• Becoming impulsive and excited during play, leading to conflicts with other children;
• Due to a lack of focus, you may miss the emotions or nonverbal cues of others and therefore appear aloof or lack empathy.
These behaviors are often misunderstood as intentional mischief, lack of manners, or disrespect for rules , but studies have shown that children with ADHD have slower development of the prefrontal cortex , which is responsible for self-control, emotional regulation, and social judgment ( Barkley, 2010 ). They do not intentionally break the rules, but have difficulty self-regulating due to the characteristics of their nervous system.
1.2 Social challenges for children with ADHD : inability to perceive other people’s emotions
Children with ADHD often lack situational awareness during social interactions, which makes it difficult for them to detect other people's emotions and reactions. For example:
• When classmates are not interested in a topic, they may still talk endlessly about their ideas ;
• During an argument or game, they may not realize that the other person is upset , which can lead to an escalation of the conflict;
• When criticized in class, they may not notice the change in the teacher's tone and may be slow to respond or indifferent , further deepening the misunderstanding.
These problems make it easy for ADHD children to be isolated or bullied in school life, leading to a decrease in self-confidence and even affecting their mental health.
2. How can children with ADHD improve their social skills?
The social development of children with ADHD requires the coordination of behavioral training, emotional regulation and environmental optimization to help them better integrate into campus life.
2.1 Cultivate social awareness
• " Stop - Think - Do " strategy : Before expressing or taking action, pause for 2 seconds and remind yourself " Is this the right time to speak? "
• Social signal training : Through pictures, videos or role-playing, children learn how to recognize other people’s emotions and body language.
• Reinforce positive behavior : Give immediate positive feedback when your child responds socially appropriately, such as waiting for a turn to speak or quietly listening.
2.2 Train social rules to reduce conflicts
• Establish clear social rules : such as " raise your hand to speak in class ", " take turns playing games ", and " look at others when they are talking " .
• Classroom adaptation training : Through simulating the classroom environment, practice how to control impulses in class and not interrupt at will.
• Set visual cues : Teachers or parents can use simple gestures (such as putting a finger in front of the mouth to indicate silence) to remind children to adjust their behavior instead of directly criticizing them.
2.3 Improve emotional management skills
• Use emotion regulation tools : For example, let your child learn to take deep breaths, count, or write down their feelings to help themselves calm down before their emotions get out of control.
• Teach children to recognize " emotional signals " : Through simple expression cards such as " happy, angry, anxious " , let them learn to distinguish different emotional states.
• Establish safe channels for venting : Set up an " emotional calming zone " at home or school so that children can have an independent space to adjust their state when their emotions fluctuate.
2.4 Let the environment help children adapt
• Teacher support: Use non-punitive guidance When children with ADHD behave impulsively in class, teachers should avoid criticizing them in public, but instead guide them privately and help them understand their behavior .
• Peer Education: Cultivating Understanding and Inclusion Let classmates understand the characteristics of ADHD children, reduce discrimination and misunderstanding, and cultivate a friendlier social environment.
• Home-school cooperation: jointly develop a social training plan Through the joint efforts of families and schools, children can practice social skills in different environments and reinforce learned behaviors.
3. Understanding and scientific training to help ADHD children integrate into the social circle
The social challenges faced by children with ADHD in school do not stem from " deliberate disruption " or " lack of education " , but from insufficient self-control and social judgment due to the characteristics of brain development . In the face of these challenges, parents and teachers can help children gradually improve their social skills through behavioral training, emotional management, and environmental optimization , so that they can gain more positive experiences in school life and reduce the risk of being misunderstood and excluded. Understanding and patience are the key to helping children with ADHD establish good interpersonal relationships. Every child who is accepted will have a more confident and better future.
